Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Shite-spouting Peaches

PEACHES Geldof is a twit, a shite-spouter extraordinaire, a trollop with notions so high above her station that the station has long disappeared in the distance. You get the picture.
Now in fairness to Peaches - and her sisters, Turnip and Avocado - she didn’t have much of a chance from the off, seen as she is the spawn of that paragon of poop-talk, Bob Geldof.
But despite the Hairy One’s tendency of scolding the entire planet at once from atop his high horse, Sir Bob’s heart does seem to be in the right place. His daughter is another kettle of (spoilt-rotten, self-important) fish entirely however.
Hailed as a fashion icon and the new It girl - the only requirement of which seems to be getting photographed wankered drunk, walking into nightclubs with apparent “musicians” - Peaches really took the biscuit this week by claiming that daddy was the product of a poverty-stricken upbringing.
Trying to explain why she would be spending Christmas with her father instead of her husband of four months, the 19-year-old said it was tradition to spend the festive season with Bob.
"My dad takes Christmas very seriously because he had a very deprived Irish childhood, so he loves to go all-out to compensate. I think it's more for him, but it's very sweet,” Peaches told Hello magazine during a rare window of sober lucidity.
For those not in the know, Bob’s “deprived Irish childhood” was spent in Dun Laoghaire, not exactly the ghetto by any stretch of the imagination. A community association that includes the likes of Bono, Van Morrison, Eddie Irvine and Neil Jordan would further suggest that Geldof’s old neighbourhood isn’t quite a hub of deprivation.
Geldof also received his secondary education in Blackrock College, one of the most exclusive and expensive private schools in the country.
Not many impoverished boys have dragged their hungry broke asses along those corridors I’m afraid Your Peachness.

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