For fear of being accused of plagiarism, this hilarious list of quotes from Richard Madeley (of Dick and Judy fame) has been provided to me by Jody O'S.
Give him the Late Late I say.
To JK Rowling: "You are unbelievably wealthy. Beyond the dreams of avarice, really."
To Rebecca Loos: "Will you end up with a bloke or a woman
To Sophie Ellis Bextor: "Where did you get your face?"
To transvestite artist Grayson Perry: "You're just humming with sexual energy! Is it the fabric? Is it wearing tights?"
To Jade Goody: "You're quite sharp. It's just that in the pure sense of the word, you're ignorant."
Interviewing a man with a stutter: After watching a clip of the guy struggling with his stutter: "You looked as if your head was going to come off!"
To George Martin: "Your short-term memory really is shot! It must drive you nuts!"
To Lewis Pugh: "You've previously made waves by breaking long-distance swimming records in the Arctic and Antarctic. Tell me, when you swim in the Antarctic, do your nuts go really, really tiny?"
To Nancy Sinatra: "Now obviously you loved your father, but do you think you were actually in love with him?"
To a woman with an obsession: She had had a crush on a celebrity and had even stalked the star in question. It was all handled sensitively and then Richard said - "So, when did you first realise that you were quite clearly mad?"
Interviewing actress Claire Goose: "Weren't you once a story-telling raccoon in a theme park? What sort of stories did you have to tell as a raccoon? Did you have a special raccoon voice?"
To a teenage anorexic: "Five Stone? Wow! That's concentration camp thin, that is."